Happy Birthday Kimmy!!!

Let me take a dip into the pool of cheese for a moment and wish a Happy Birthday to the most wonderful person I know! Today is Kim’s Birthday and I want her to know how much I love and appreciate her. She is the one constant in my life. She keeps me on the straight and narrow (as any great woman does) and guides me through my tough times. She is so giving (as you ALL know) and, despite her vast vocabulary, does not know the meaning of “NO”. I wish that I could be the kind of husband that she deserves, but all that I can do is try. Of course she is too humble to take any of these words to heart, but for all that have come in contact with her throughout their lives, we can attest to her genuine smile, her giving spirit, and her perfect sincerity. She is what I believe all women should be. She is an Angel on Earth.

Happy Birthday Kim. I love you!!

Tag...I'm It (Thanks Trina)

Well, I was tagged a long time ago by Trina and unfortunately she didn't forget. So I am supposed to tell 6 things people don't know about me. So, in the spirit of Christmas and the season of giving, I'm going to give up some of my secrets, embarrassing moments if you will. So, be kind and try to understand....

1. I have locked my keys in my car...with the car running....Twice! I know how could I let this happen...twice?? In my defense, well, I have no defense. I'm just stupid.

2. Several years ago I got so upset (at I don't know what) that I banged my fist on my windshield that, upon contact, the entire windshield shattered! Well, whatever I was so upset at didn't seem too important, especially since Kim was laughing at me and my stupidity. See, I am stupid. But the good part was that we got 52 free dinners at the Hometown Buffet because of it.

3. When Kim and I were first dating and then married, I had a propensity to "dink" people. Now, get your minds out of the gutter, when I say dink, it was this uncanny ability I had when driving to be able to stop just in time to barely "tap" to drivers in front of me. This was a common problem that has since ceased. It got to be pretty funny, for me at least.

4. When I was in First grade we had a spelling bee of sorts. Now keep in mind, I was pretty shy back then and hated when I had to be in front of any amount of people (I still do come to think of it) and I would tense up. Well, inevitably it was my turn and I was in a panic. I was given my word and my mind went blank. I was in cold sweats and my heart was racing. I had no answer and when the teacher told me that she needed an answer, I quickly blurted out my response. I was quickly rejected in my response as several classmates snickered. I was distraught. This is funny, since I am really good at spelling now. Maybe it scarred me for life and I didn't want to have that feeling again. Oh yea, the word I misspelled......'of'

5. Perhaps the most embarrassing moment is something many of you are aware of. It's my defining moment it seems. Well, it happened several years ago when we were at Kim's parents' house with a group of us playing games. The game we happened to play this fine evening was 'The Newlywed Game'. It is a pretty fun game, unless you're me. I was doing pretty well with my answers until it happened. The question came up that has been the butt of many jokes since...."what is the color of your spouse's eyes?" Oh my !#&@, are you serious? I have gazed into my wife's eyes countless times and I didn't remember what color they were! I panicked!!! What color were they??? I guessed green when they are clearly Blue with Yellow specks! How could I miss that? To add insult to the situation, after getting MUCH grief after my answer was revealed, the next day I typed up a letter of apology to all who were in attendance, including Sheri and Ian's neighbors at the time whom I have never met before. Man I suck! I just chalked my errant answer up to whenever I was gazing into my wife's eyes, I wasn't stopping at the eyes, I was gazing into her soul!

And finally....

6. I came to the realization that I was lactose intolerant in front of Sheri & Ian and Tiffany & Jason. You see, I was the butt of their little joke when we all went to Olive Garden and everyone at the table knew that Jason & Tiffany were engaged and I had NO idea. They kept dropping hints and I was too dumb to pick up on them. They just laughed at me. Afterwards, we all went back to our house for games/tv and then it happened. I had to excuse myself and didn't return for A LONG time. That's when the last enjoyment I had in life was taken from me. (No Kim, I don't mean that you and Joe aren't a joy) I think the look on my face said it all when I finally resurfaced.


Well, that's my embarrassing moments. Happy now Trina? I will NOT tag anyone, as I don't have anyone left to tag. Peace and Merry Christmas!

Christmas Songs for Shrinks

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear

Multiple Personality: We Three Queens Disoriented Are!

Narcissism: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing About Me!

Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Paranoia: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town To Get Me

Depression: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely

Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Going to Cry, I'm Going to Pout, then maybe I'll tell you why!

Obsessive Compulsive: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell Swing Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock

Suicidal: Thoughts of Roasting On an Open Fire

Passive Aggressive: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (then took away)

I've been Christmas tagged

So, I was Christmas tagged by Jamie. Usually I don't like to be tagged, but Christmas tag is fun, so I'm playing along:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate (from the cannery is best). I think Egg Nog is gross.

2. Do you wrap presents or not? Yes. It's way more fun to open a present, than a bag.

3. Colored Lights or White? Colored lights, and tons of them on my tree, at least 2,500. Also, old school, big fat colored lights on the roof, just like I had when I was a kid.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No. I've got a man, I don't need to hang mistletoe to trick someone into kissing me.

5. When do you decorate? Usually I start the week before Thanksgiving. I know it's apalling to start before Thanksgiving, but because I do all the lights on my mom's house, both of her trees, my lights, and my tree, I have to start early. I always start with the lights on my mom's house before Thanksgiving, but she is not allowed to turn them on until after. Brian and I usually start decorating our house the Saturday after Thanksgiving. He does the roof, I do the tree.

6. Favorite holiday dish? I don't know that we do any special dishes at Christmas. My mom always does someburros and chick-fil-a on Christmas eve. I like that.

7. Favorite memory as a child? I have 3. I hope that's not too many. The first is peeking down the hallway on Christmas eve. You couldn't see into the family room, but you could just catch the corner of the Christmas tree and the lights. I never did sneak down and peek at the presents, but I did peek around the corner to see that little bit of the tree. The second is I would listen to Christmas music in my bed and look out the window. I could see the big colored lights on the house. It made me happy. That's how I'd fall asleep. The third is the year we had Christmas in July. My mom and dad came home one day in mid July with all kinds of presents for all of us. It was so unexpected and out of the blue. It was a lot of fun. I got a Strawberry shortcake sleeping bag and a lemon merengue doll, ooh, and my little ponies. Every time I see anything Strawberry Shortcake, I remember that. I think that's when we got our trampoline too.


8. When & how did you learn about Santa? I don't exactly remember, but I think it was Stacy that told me.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Always - pj's and cozy socks!

10. How do you decorate your tree? Seeing as how I've never really grown up, I've never graduated into sophisticated Christmas decorations all matching and color coordinated. I use colored lights -those are the most fun for us kids at heart. None of my ornaments match. They range from winnie the pooh, to sports (broncos, suns and d-backs) for Brian, to star wars, to sponge bob, to cute wooden snowmen. It's very eclectic. We are all represented on the tree. I love it.

11. Snow...love it or dread it? Love it. My dream is to have a White Christmas at least once in my life. Maybe next year, if the cabin ever gets finished.

12. Can you ice skate? That would imply that I have balance, so no, I don't. I've been, but I fell more than I skated.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? As a kid - my pogo stick. More recently I'd have to say the camera Brian got me last year. I was so set against going digital, but I have sooo loved the camera. I use it all the time.

14. What is the most important part of the holidays? Spending time with family.

15. Favorite holiday dessert? Aunt Denise's crispy cookies. When I taste those, it's Christmas. I also love Brian's moms sugar cookies. They have just a hint of peppermint. Oh, and I love Shamrock farms peppermint ice cream. I wait all year for that.

16. Favorite tradition? I have 2. The first is going to my parents house Christmas morning, all of us (all 27 of us now). Before we do anything else, we gather in the living room around the white tree, and my dad reads the Christmas story out of the bible. We have done that every Christmas since I was a kid. My second favorite is reading Christmas stories at home with me, Brian and Joe. Every night before we go to bed we turn on the tree, we turn off all of the other lights, we get cozy on the couch and we read a Christmas story. I love it.

So that's it for Christmas tag. Instead of tagging specific people, in the spirit of Christmas, I include everyone. Anyone who reads the Christmas tag and wants to participate, please feel free. If you don't want to play tag, then don't. I'm okay with that too.

Lastly, another shout out for Joe. He's playing tag with Dallin and Michael and has listed 3 embarrasing things about himself. CHECK OUT JOE'S BLOG! (shameless plug).

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem...Enjoy!

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to be careful with that word today
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"

Check out Joe's blog

For any of you who are interested, Joe was tagged and has since posted 6 things about himself that you probably don't know. Check out his blog to see what they are.

Yes this is a shameless plug for you to read my son's blog. Have a happy day!

2 things to say today

First of all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NARDO!

You know who you are! Just kidding. I was recalling the day in high school that we went to lunch. We dropped you off at subway and Stacy and I went to Arbys. (There is no way I'd go to Arby's now, but that is a different story). We went back to pick you up and you weren't there. We then saw you running across the field towards us, waving your arms, yelling "Nardo!". Good Times! I have lots of fond high school memories: Going to Leaning Tower for the awesome lunch deal, driving past the school with the windows down singing "The wheels on the bus go round and round..." Laughing at Stacy as we left pizza hut because a guy outside offered us Coke and she thought he meant Coca Cola. I know you guys were pretty muched forced to let me tag along, but I always had fun and you never made me feel like I was tagging along. Thanks! I hope you have a very happy birthday. You're awesome.


Second of all: Today is gorgeous. Have you been outside. As I used to say when Joseph was little: "This is a go to the park kind of day." It makes me happy.

I've decided to be "it".

Ok, so Elise tagged me - a while ago actually. Thanks for being patient. Normally I ignore these and don't play along, but since I needed something new to put on my blog, and nothing else exciting has been happening, I decided to play.

I guess I am supposed to list 6 things that people don't know about me. This was hard, as I am pretty much an open book. No secrets here. I picked 6 things that I'm sure some people know about me, but not everyone knows. It was the best I could do.

#1. I am a secret MTV fan. I know I am way too old for this, but I can't help it. I was never allowed to watch MTV when I was a teenager, I am re-living my youth. Let me qualify this by saying that I know that most of what is on MTV is filth. I am only addicted to a couple of shows and the rare times that they play videos. I like the Hills, Made and The Life of Ryan. Joe and I actually watched The Life of Ryan together. It was my favorite.

#2. I like to car dance. For any of you who don't know what that is, it is when you turn up the radio really loud and dance (as best as you can) in the car. I often make Joe do this with me. Sometimes he plays along, but mostly he's just embarrased by me. When I'm alone I also sing loudly. My favorite car dancing songs at the moment are: Dare - the Gorillaz, and Supermassive Black Hole - Muse. The White Stripes also provide great car dancing music. I love music. It lifts my spirits.

#3. I know how many buttons are on my remote control - 49. I know this because I have counted them probably a few hundred times. I am not joking. This leads me to #3. I am slightly OCD about some things. I don't feel bad because I know it runs in my family. I am not the only one (the rest of you know who you are). I have other quirks that go along with the OCD as well. I check several times a day to make sure the stove is off, especially before I go to bed at night. I also have to check that all the doors are locked at night. I do this at least 3 times. Sometimes one right after the next. I cannot leave a room without turning the light off and it really bugs me when people leave the light on in a room when they leave it. I don't know if these things officially qualify as OCD, but that's what I call it. Whenever I do something strange that Brian doesn't understand, I just tell him that it's the OCD kicking in.

#4. I am an insomniac. If you came by my house at 2:00 in the morning, I'd probably be up. But don't come by my house at 2:00 in the morning, ok. Maybe this has something to do with the OCD. I can't shut my brain off and relax enough to sleep. After about a week of not sleeping well, I'll take NyQuil so I can get one good night of sleep. That keeps me going through the next week. It's bad to take it when you're not sick, but I can't help it. It knocks me out!

#5. I have kind of a warped sense of humor. Many of you know that I am pretty sarcastic, but it's more than that. I find things funny that most other people don't. I often have to stifle a laugh during church. I guess I find serious situations funny. Often, when Brian is trying to "parent" Joe, and he's visibly upset, I bust out laughing. We got stuck in traffic the other day, for a long time. Joe & Brian were mad. I thought it was hillarious. This one is hard to explain. I'll just leave it at that.

#6. I like to write Childrens books. I have 5 already written, with many ideas for more. It's a fun creative outlet. I've always identified with kids more than adults. I feel more comfortable around children than I do around adults. I guess I'm more on their level. Who wants to be a grownup?

Well that's it. 6 things you probably already knew about me, but I forced you to read again.

I am supposed to tag 6 people. Normally, I would pass on that, but I decided to play along today. I choose: Ian, Trina, Tricia, Laura, Xander and Paul. I know you've got secrets, now spill 'em.